Your view of the world acts as a filter through which all information is sifted and sorted.  So any time you read a paper or blog, watch TV, listen to friends or receive any information from outside of yourself, you sift and store that information through the filter of your view of the world.  And not only that, your brain is programmed to ensure that you’ll attract information which reinforces this view of the world!

So, what kind of world do you live in?

Is your world one of abundance and joy, where setbacks and challenges are just little bumps in the road, where the future is a bright beacon full of promise and the past is full of wonderful memories.  Do you know lots of women your age who have got pregnant and you just need to wait your turn?  Is your glass half-full?

Or is your glass half-empty?  Do you live in a world of scarcity and struggle, where setbacks and challenges are huge barriers to be attacked and overcome, where the future is dark and uncertain and full of anxiety menace and peril, and your past has a negative influence on you today still?  Do you hear everywhere and from everyone that eggs are limited, that the older you are the less likelihood you have of getting pregnant, do you know lots of women in your situation who are struggling to get pregnant?  Is your glass half-empty?

I’d invite you to consider how, making your view of the world more positive, may make your experience in the world a whole lot more fun, effortless and optimistic.  Even if you are already pretty optimistic, can you become more so?  And if you’re not at all optimistic, might you not be doing yourself an extreme kindness to change that view, even a little?

What if, you lived in a totally positive, optimistic world, where all your dreams and desires came true?  That belief in itself would be a great de-stresser and would allow you to hold a relaxed, positive and healthier state of mind and body – and that relaxed state of mind and body will help you optimise your chances of getting pregnant.

Stress creates an unhelpful internal physical environment which can reduce immune response and upset the hormone balance.

Your mind and body are not separate entities, they work together, so if you are constantly thinking that: “you’ll never get pregnant”; “everyone else is getting pregnant but you”; “you’re too old”; etc, etc, etc, then it’s hardly surprising if your body obliges by giving you what you expect.  On the other hand, if you’re positive and have a high expectation that you will get pregnant, your body may well oblige you with what you expect!

I know which way of being I’d choose, what about you?

If you want to get from a glass half-empty to one that’s nearly full, sign up to the FREE Baby Making Mindset Facebook Group for tips and hints that will help you improve your baby making mindset.  You’ll find us at https://www.facebook.com/groups/freeBMMclub/

Have you noticed that the longer you’ve been trying to get pregnant, the more the people there are around you who are getting pregnant?  Until, suddenly, you’re surrounded by friends and family, just about all of whom are expecting.

And, have you wondered – screamed from the rooftops even – “Why not me?”  Why, when you’re trying so hard, should everyone else be getting pregnant?  Why is it that you can’t walk down the street without noticing how many women are pregnant?

Have you ever felt like that?

Does it cause you to feel depressed, alone, isolated?  Do you feel that life is treating you unfairly?  Do you wonder if you’ll ever get pregnant?

Well, have you considered that you’re attracting all that pregnant energy?  And it may be that it’s you who’s next in line.   After all, if you’re drawing all that pregnant energy towards you, it may just need a little re-direction to find you next.

Here are three ways to attract that pregnant energy to YOU:

1. Be grateful for what you’ve got.  Take some time out every day to be grateful for what you have – and write it down.  Gratitude helps you to feel blessed and abundant, rather than blighted and anxious.  And the more grateful you are the more blessed and abundant you will feel and you will then begin to draw that into your life.  Oh, I know, it all sounds really New Age, but counting your blessings has been used for thousands of years to restore flagging spirits (check out any Bible).  Just give it a try and see how you feel, if it’s not resonating with you then you can stop, but you’ll never know how well it might work unless you give it a shot.
2. Get ready to receive.  How much joy can you take in your life – a bucket full or a thimble full?  If you want to know how ready you are to receive, just close your eyes and imagine yourself in a stadium with 10,000 people.  There’s a thrum of voices as those 10,000 people chat.  You walk to the centre of the stage and look out at the audience and you stand there until the noise abates and there’s absolute silence.  You introduce yourself – “Hello, my name is ……..” and wait.  The audience begin to applaud.  They’re applauding you, not for any reason, not for anything you’ve done, but just because you’re you.  The applause increases in volume and the audience begin to rise from their seat.  You’re getting a standing ovation from 10,000 people just for being you.  The applause continues ………. and continues ………………. and continues……….. 1 minute ……… 2 minutes …………. 3 minutes ……………… 4 minutes ………….. 5 minutes.You’ve being given a standing ovation for 5 minutes.  How does that feel?  Do you get uncomfortable just standing on stage?  How quickly do you want to leave the stage after the applause begins?  How much recognition and joy are you ready to receive?
3. Absorb the baby making energy.   If you feel surrounded by pregnant women, draw that pregnant energy towards yourself.Imagine yourself in the centre of a circle of pregnant women.  Notice the glow that seems to emanate from them.  What colour is it?  Is it dense or light, warm or cool?  Now see yourself surrounded by that pregnant glow.  Feel yourself protected and safe within this pregnant glow.  And notice how the glow of pregnant energy begins to move towards you from all directions until it encompasses your whole body.  How do you feel being cloaked in this pregnant energy?  What emotions are present?  Are there any feelings of discomfort or discord?  If there are, turn your attention towards those and allow them time and space.  Hold your attention on them, without trying to change them or making any judgement of them until you notice them dissipate and disappear gently and totally.  Now how do you feel?  Thank the pregnant women who encircle you and allow them to fade away, leaving you surrounded by their pregnant glow.  Now draw that pregnant glow towards you until it forms a cocoon around you.  This cocoon of pregnant energy around you will act as a magnet for pregnant energy, directing all future pregnant energy towards you.

Give these three techniques a try and tell me how you get on.

I’ve spoken in the past about the power of the mind to change your reality, the big question is HOW do you do it.

Strategies such as: focusing on results; insisting on an outcome; being determined that you won’t stop until you reach your goal; and being very specific in what you want, can all help immeasurably to lead you towards your goal.

But sometimes we try too hard!  And we can want something so much, that we get in the way of our own natural process.  If we are following the natural process it should feel light, easy, flowing and effortless.  We need to be detached from our outcome to allow it to manifest easily and effortlessly.

The moment we try too hard, the extra effort we expend, stops the flow of effortless energy and manifestation.  It’s a bit like the racing driver, who wants a quick start, and puts too much power on the accelerator and ends up spinning the wheels and going nowhere.

So, how do you avoid trying too hard, having too much focus, being too determined and ending up just being obsessed?

Well you might want to look at having a Plan B (and C).

It may seem that having a Plan B and C, will undermine that sense of determination, insistence, focus.  To some extent that may be true, but it will also give you a much more relaxed attitude and the proper degree of detachment from your Plan A.  Having a Plan B and C is much more a reflection of life.  We don’t run our life on a straight line (or most of us don’t).  We respond to the vagaries that life throws before us, we review opportunities when they arise, and take them if they lead in the direction we favour.

Why have a Plan B and a Plan C?  Why 2 alternative plans?  The answer to that is simple: if you have only one plan you give yourself no choice; two plans give you a dilemma (and that creates tension); but three options gives you real choice.

So, I’d invite you to sit down today – together, and work out your Plan B and Plan C.  And turn them into futures that you can really embrace and commit to.  They want to excite your imagination and passion and lead you to a life that will be fulfilling.  And your plans need to address the elephant in the room – what if you don’t get pregnant?  Will you look at alternative family building avenues?  How will you live a full and useful life?

All your plans – A, B and C – want to be written down, and fairly detailed about WHAT you want and WHY you want it (how you get it is not as important).  If you’ve not already done this with your Plan A, do it now and then follow on with Plan B and C.  Then store them all away somewhere and forget about Plan B and C.

You can then turn your attention to manifesting your Plan A in the knowledge that you’ve created real choice for yourself while at the same time creating the detachment which is so important if you want to manifest your dreams.

So, go get that pen and paper now and start planning.

Does helpful advice make things worse?

You’ve hit a bad patch: maybe you’ve had some bad news that makes you feel you’ll never get pregnant.  Or you’ve just run out of energy to be hopeful.  Does it drive you mad that the people who care for you most are trying, with the best of intentions, to be hopeful for you and to cheer you up?

You know that they want the best for you, but why can’t they just recognise your pain and be with you in that pain, instead of wanting to fix the situation?

Well you probably know that already.  It’s painful to watch another person suffer and not be able to do anything to make the pain better.  So your pain, is their pain.  And all the cheering comments and encouragement to look on the bright side are designed to lessen the pain – for you and for them.

And it’s not quite like a bereavement, where outsiders can identify with and share the loss: where there’s a sense of communal pain.  This is your pain.  And parents, by definition, won’t really know what you’re going through (unless of course, they’ve gone through it themselves).

It may drive you mad to listen to all the platitudes, but if you are able, cut them some slack – they’re doing their best, just as you are.  It’s hard to sit with someone in distress and just be there for them: the temptation to try and fix things can be overwhelming.

And sometimes their words may make things a bit better for you.

But you may also choose to explain that you only need a sympathetic ear and that you don’t expect them to make you feel better, that you need time to process and work through the pain before you can get to a point of feeling better.

And perhaps, you may also recognise that your anger and frustration reflect how you feel about your situation, as well as how you feel about other people’s responses.

It’s hardly fair, but one of the challenges of the situation you find yourself in, it to manage the people around you as well as to manage your own responses to your circumstances.  It’s not fair at all, is it?