Tag Archives: Secondary Infertility

Fit To Conceive? Here’s Why Going Organic Might Help

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This post is someone else’s work and the saying “out of the mouth of babes” comes to mind.  Here’s a young student describing a school experiment that demonstrates why going organic with your purchases of food, beauty and cleaning products might be better for you (and improve your chance of conceiving).

http://youtu.be/exBEFCiWyW0

When you’re trying to conceive, it’s important to increase your chances of getting pregnant by any means possible and diet should be high on your list.  Going organic means that you can be confident that your exposure to any form of chemical additive will be reduced.  And as well as eating organic you may wish to consider clearing out your bathroom cabinet of all those chemical filled grooming and beauty products such as deodorant, body washes, hair products, etc, etc, etc.  And then check out your cleaning cupboard – cleaning products are normally very toxic and full of chemicals.  Try lemon juice, vinegar and baking soda for cleaning and if you’re interested in finding out more, a 15 minute search of Google will give you a plethora of natural recipes to use.  Happy hunting.

Trash Those Negative Thoughts!

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It’s so easy to have negative thoughts about getting pregnant!  If you’ve been trying for a while your thoughts naturally turn to wondering when it will happen – maybe even if it will happen. And if you’ve waited a while (or if you have a tendency to be a bit impatient) you may begin to think that it will never happen.

Such thoughts are very unhelpftrash lorryul because they create tension, pressure and stress – all emotions that have an adverse effect on the body.

But how do you get rid of such thoughts?  It’s often easier said than done.

The first thing to remember when you want to make any change is that nature abhors a vacuum.  Trying to banish a thought will create an empty space and (unless you practice meditation) your mind will naturally want to fill that vacuum.  So, just getting rid of the thought is not enough, you need to replace it with another, better, more helpful thought.

Spend a bit of time thinking about what you really want.  Take time to fill in all the details, so that what you want is as complete as possible.

Now, whenever you notice yourself thinking negative thoughts, STOP!  Allow yourself to notice the thought and take a moment to recognise that it’s only a thought and you can choose to change it any time you please.  If you choose, allow the negative thought to dissipate and notice the new, positive thought you’ve created, take it’s place in a bigger, brighter and much more powerful way than you could ever imagine possible.

If you get into the habit of trashing the negative thoughts and replacing them with much more powerful positive thoughts, you’ll feel better AND  you’ll also be sending your body a very powerful message about how you intend it should oblige you.

And if you want some tips on how to smooth the emotional path on your journey to creating a baby, why not join the FREE Baby Making Mindset Club on facebook, just click this link https://www.facebook.com/groups/freeBMMclub/.

The Struggle And Strife Of Trying To Conceive

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If you’re struggling with fertility issues, you may feel that you’re trapped in a cycle of hoping and being disappointed. You may feel you’re on that emotional rollercoaster, feeling angry, sad, disappointed, jealous, impatient, obsessed and all the other swings that can take place every month. You may feel locked into that emotional vortex that involves desperately wanting something that seems constantly just out of reach. I’d like if I may, to ask you to stop for a few moments andStruggle take a step back from your life.  To look at yourself objectively and ask yourself:

  • Do I feel stuck in my current situation?
  • Am I struggling against my current circumstances, trying to change things as they are now?
  • Is that struggle exhausting and depleting me?
  • Do I find myself constantly comparing where I am now against where I would like to be and feeling down because of the m
    ismatch?
  • Am I constantly focused on the future and ignoring the present moment?

As you ponder these questions, have you noticed if you are creating a huge resistance to your current life circumstances, because you so want something quite different?  Can you see how that struggle and resistance might be depleting your resources – mental, emotional and physical?  Has it occurred to you that you make it much more difficult for yourself to move forward into something positive and more hopeful if you spend every minute of today battling against what you DON’T want?

In order to move on to a brighter future, it’s necessary to accept what is, just for today. Now acceptance doesn’t mean giving up, not at all.  What acceptance does is release all that resistance and allow you to channel your energy into a brighter future.  Acceptance allows you to release what you don’t want and frees you to focus on what you do want.

Acceptance says “just for today this is my situation”, but it also allows the possibility that tomorrow may be completely different.  And because you accept that things are as they are today, doesn’t mean that you can’t be working today to make circumstances change tomorrow.

Acceptance of things as they are today, releases you from all the questions: Why me? Could I have done more? What if? etc, etc, etc.  It allows you, both on a conscious and unconscious level to acknowledge the current situation, to release resistance to it and it permits you to channel your energy into what you want, rather than what you don’t want.

Acceptance puts you in the moment – this is how it is NOW.  It doesn’t mean you agree that the situation is OK, or that you have to accept it forever more.  Acceptance means that you recognise that for this moment in time, this is the way it is.  And this is important, because now is where you have the power to make changes: to change the way you’ve always done it, felt about it, thought about it.  What you desire for the future exists in what you do, how you feel and what you think NOW! So how do you get to acceptance, it can be a real challenge!

Here’s a little exercise to get you into practice: Pick a small thing you’d like to change, something that you struggle with a bit.  Sit quietly and focus on this thing. Accept that for now it’s a part of your life.  And once you feel that you’ve accepted it and come to terms with the fact that this thing you’ve been focusing on “is what it is”, notice if you feel more relaxed – after all you’ve released something you’ve been struggling with.  And now, imagine what you’d like instead, in great detail, until you feel really compelled towards this much more attractive future.

And if you want support on your journey why not join the FREE Baby Making Mindset Club on facebook, just click this link https://www.facebook.com/groups/freeBMMclub/.

Maximise Your Fertility, Naturally

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Spa still life

Your body naturally strives to be in a state of balance and it’s constantly adjusting to maintain that state of balance: your breathing, temperature, blood pressure, blood volume, fluid levels, cell life cycles, hormone levels and a multitude of other adjustments are being made by your body every minute.  So that balance is created from a dynamic process that responds to internal and external factors: what you eat, your level of physical activity, stress, environmental pollution, and a whole range of factors.

And your body needs to be in balance with your mental and emotional state – thought patterns and emotions have a physical dimension – your thoughts and feelings can affect posture and chemical responses in the body.  The stress response is a great example of how mind and emotions can affect physical state.

Eat Naturally

When it comes to diet, go for organic, unprocessed, colourful food.  If possible, cook from scratch to avoid additives, and have a wide variety of food.  Avoid white or grey foods such as white bread, pasta and rice and avoid diet foods as they are likely to contain artificial sweeteners such Aspartame.  Cut out crackers, pastries, cakes and chocolate as they are likely to contain transfats which are linked to lower fertility and avoid products with MSG such as Chinese meals, flavoured crisps, meat seasonings and packaged soups.

Live Naturally

Alcohol, caffeine, smoking, recreational drugs, unnecessary medications are all no no’s.  Avoid stress or develop powerful coping strategies to deal with stress – try meditation to help detox the mind and take the edge off negative mindsets.

Exercise Gently

Avoid the gym and excessive exercise (long runs, rows, etc).  Walking is great exercise and extremely beneficial, especially if you walk in a natural environment.  Go for natural forms of exercise such as yoga and if possible find a fertility yoga class.  Muscle building exercise diverts testosterone from the reproductive organs to the muscles. Avoid cycling and swimming.

Ensure A Natural Environment

Check your house for cleaning and clothes/dish washing products – many of these contain toxic chemicals.  Many of these chemicals were tested in the 1950’s and 60’s and may not pass the more stringent health criteria that exist today.  Try cleaning your house with lemon juice and baking of soda or buy natural products from your health food store.  If you feel like being a bit more creative, you can go online and discover how to make your own cleaning products.

And that goes for beauty and personal care products for hair, body and personal hygiene. Check online to see if you can find more natural versions of your beauty and personal care products.

Laptops should not be kept on laps and mobiles should not be kept in pockets – they give off low levels of radiation.  If possible avoid low level radiation from TV, VDU, digital clocks and electric blankets and avoid living near pylons, radio stations/masts, phone exchanges for the same reasons.

Live A Natural Lifestyle

Be creative – draw or paint, sew, bake, write or do whatever you do that gets your creative juices going.  Being creative connects mind, body and emotion to your desire to create a baby.  Look at your life and strip it back to the bare essentials.  Look at your life and how you spend your time and ask yourself whether it gives you joy or if it’s just there to fill in the time.  Go for joy!

To help you work your way through this more easily, write down a list of all the things you’d like to do to establish a more natural lifestyle.  Then work out what are the three easiest things to do and do them.  Then work out what are the three most impactful things and work out a plan for implementing them.  Then knock of the rest of the list at a rate of three items a week.

I hope you have joy in living a more natural life and maximising your fertility, naturally.

And if you want support on your journey why not join the FREE Baby Making Mindset Club on facebook, just click this link https://www.facebook.com/groups/freeBMMclub/.

Stressed That You’re Not Getting Pregnant? Just Relax!

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relaxI know, I know, I know, if you’ve heard the “just relax” line once you’ve probably heard it a million times!

And how can you “just relax”, when you’re desperate to fall pregnant and it’s not happening and, at the back of your mind, is the thought that it might never happen.

Doesn’t it just make you want to scream to hear such platitudes!  Especially when you know they’re saying it with your best interests at heart.  Don’t they know how difficult it is?  No matter how you try to keep your mind off things, to keep busy and occupied, there’s a part of you that just keeps picking away at the waiting to get pregnant issue, like a scab that is never allowed to heal.

Well, irritating thought it may be, it’s sound advice.  Being relaxed has physical, mental and emotional benefits which may well improve your chance of getting pregnant.  Now, I’m not suggesting that just relaxing will get you pregnant, but there definitely is some evidence to suggest that being stressed will reduce your chances of getting pregnant.

When you relax you enter a state which is completely opposite to being under pressure or stressed.  Relaxation allows your body to neutralise the stress chemicals and activates your repair and renewal processes.

A study at the University of Western Australia found that women were more likely to conceive during periods when they are relaxed rather than stressed.  And a study at Trakya University in Turkey found that stress reduces sperm count and motility, suggesting that relaxation may also boost male fertility.

Studies have also shown that relaxation can reduce symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome, reduce blood pressure, and improve conditions such as arthritis, asthma, skin conditions such as psoriasis and heart disease.

Research at Harvard Medical School has shown that deep relaxation changes our bodies on a genetic level:  long term practitioners of relaxation methods, such as yoga and meditation, have far more active “disease-fighting genes” compared to those who practised no form of relaxation.  In particular, they found that genes that protect from disorders such as pain, infertility, high blood pressure and even rheumatoid arthritis were switched on.  These experiments at Harvard showed just how responsive genes are to behaviour, mood, environment and revealed that genes can just as easily be switched on as they switch off.

But saying “just relax” isn’t that helpful – it can even make you more tense …

So go for a therapy treatment, join a yoga class, do some Transendental Meditation, get a relaxation CD or even go for walk.  Little and often will be much more helpful to get you into a deeply relaxed state than, for example, a one hour session weekly.  So you can’t use the excuse that you’ve no time!

Try 15 minutes of relaxation every day for a month and notice how differently you will feel.

Count Your Blessings And They’ll Multiply

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Baby Making Mindset

Be grateful

I’ve been prompted by some recent Facebook posts, to blog today about gratitude.  Many of my Facebook friends have been posting each day about what they’re grateful for and it’s really interesting to see that it’s not the big things they choose, but the small, seemingly insignificant things that get onto their list.

In our busy lives, full of targets and deadlines, responsibilities and commitments, hopes and aspirations, we can sometimes be so busy and stressed that we forget what we have to be grateful for.  And if you’re dealing with fertility issues, it can be easy to focus on what’s not working rather than what is working in your life.

When was the last time you paused to be grateful for the food you eat, or the home that shelters you, or the friends and family who support you?  Or the fact that you can just turn the tap and clean water rushes from it?  Or the fact that you can get your shopping delivered with the press of a few buttons? 

It’s all too easy to take the things and people in our lives for granted, and it can be a real challenge to find time to stop and catch our breath, never mind to stop to cultivate gratitude.  Try looking at the smallest things in your life and asking yourself what would life be like without them.

Really, give it a try, you may find it well worth the effort.  Being grateful for what you already have allows you to:

  • pay more attention to all the gifts you already enjoy
  • evaluate what you have without comparison to others
  • appreciate that all you have is a real gift (especially the big stuff like friends, family, health, peace of mind – and sometimes even the bad stuff that might have made you stronger, wiser, kinder)
  • have awareness and appreciation for the people and possessions and qualities that fill your life

Gratitude helps you to focus on the positives – what you have, rather than what you don’t have.  It helps you realise just how full and rich your life already is and that in turn helps you direct your attention to attracting more of the same. And although there may be many things in your life that you don’t have, a focus on being grateful for what you do have allows you to cultivate peace of mind.

Every day, write down three things that you’re grateful for and watch your peace of mind grow!

How Ready Are You For A Baby?

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Believe - stoneI have a saying on my wall which reads:

“There is a difference between wishing for a think and being ready to receive it.  No one is ready for a thing until she believes she can aquire it.”

I’m not sure where it came from or who said it, but I do think that our beliefs have a vital impact on our results.

Does your belief support you having a baby?  Do you really believe that it will happen some day, or do you think it will never happen for you?

Go inside yourself for a moment and ask yourself just how strongly you believe that you will:

  • become pregnant
  • have a stable pregnancy and
  • give birth to a healthy baby

Give yourself a score of 1-10 where 1 = not very strongly at all and where 10 = 100% certainty.

If your score is less than 10 for each of these questions then you need to work on your beliefs.

To create a strong belief you need three things:

  1. You need to know that it is POSSIBLE to achieve your heart’s desire
  2. You need to know that you are ABLE to achieve your heart’s desire
  3. You need to know that you DESERVE  to achieve your heart’s desire

KNOW IT’S POSSIBLE:   If there’s no medical reason for you not to get pregnant, then it must be POSSIBLE, until it is proven that it’s not possible.  So until that point, you can only say that you have not got pregnant YET.  Often our impatience drives us towards a negative view of a situation.  Don’t be too quick to decide what is impossible, be patient and consider that your heart’s desire hasn’t come about yet.

KNOW IF YOU ARE ABLE:   Avoid putting limitations on what you think is possible.  Do you have an age beyond which you think it will be impossible to get pregnant?  Do you think you are less likely than friends of your age to get pregnant?  These beliefs are arbitrary judgements you have made about yourself and they are just as likely to be WRONG as they are to be right.  Banish them, completely, NOW.  Keep an open mind.  Be positive in your thinking.  And open yourself up to the abundant possibilities that love and life have to offer.

KNOW YOU DESERVE IT:   Do you feel you deserve a baby?  If not, why not?  Do you have a belief system that says: things need to be difficult to have value; or you never get what you really want; or everyone is better and more deserving than you; or bad things happen to good people?

Have a look at your belief system and check that they support your desire for a baby and then you can truly be ready to receive your baby.

And if you want support on your journey why not join the FREE Baby Making Mindset Club on facebook, just click this link https://www.facebook.com/groups/freeBMMclub/.

Trying To Conceive? Are You Trying Too Hard?

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fishingI’d like you to look at all the highs and lows of your fertility journey. I know you’d do anything to get pregnant, so I’d like you to ask yourself … are you trying too hard?

Trying might not be a useful thing to do, in fact it may actually hinder all your best efforts, because trying is about : endeavour, difficulty, becoming annoyed – or so the dictionary says.  Trying is all about chasing after your dream rather than waiting to receive it. Trying is all about forcing your heart’s desire into being rather than allowing it to materialise in it’s own good time.  Trying is about control rather than being in a state of flow.

Are you chasing your dream of having a baby rather than being ready to receive with open arms?  May I suggest that this might not be the best strategy.  And here’s why …

Imaging you were to go fishing.  If you were to go fishing, you’d pack your kit – everything you need to land that prizewinning fish. You’d pick the perfect spot where you know the fish are likely to be. You’d set your bait and cast your line and then you’d sit back and relax and wait for the fish to bite. And while you’re waiting for the fish to bite you’d likely just enjoy being out in the fresh air, in the peace and quiet, giving yourself time to settle and release, and letting your worries and cares wash away.

What you wouldn’t do is: jump into the car with no equipment. Then stop at any old spot without checking first to find out how the fishing was. And race into the water fully clothed, trying to catch the fish with your bare hands! That would just be ridiculous, wouldn’t it?

The very act of “trying”, creates a level of stress that is more likely to take you away from what you want instead of closer to it. You effectively create obstacles that wouldn’t otherwise exist as a consequence of your desire to increase your chances of getting pregnant.  You begin to get in your own way!  Can I just say that again, “You begin to get in your own way”!

This is not always an easy concept to process when your sole goal in life is to get pregnant, so please give it some thought.

May I suggest that you might choose to let go, stop “trying”, chill and just wait for the fish to bite.

If you want more tips like this, you’ll find them in the Free Baby Making Mindset Club, just go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/1422257428013810/

Can A Negative Mindset Make It Harder To Conceive?

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“Getting pregnant is an unconscious thing and women especially need to take a step back and stop thinking about why it isn’t happening.  I believe that if you’re sending negative messages to your body then it’s harder to conceive.”    -Ziva West”

This quote comes from Ziva West – midwife, nutritionist, acupuncturist and author – who runs a Harley Street Fertility Clinic.  I uncovered it during some recent research when I came across an article from the February 2010 Mirror.co.uk.

Well Zita, I agree – wholeheartedly.  In fact, I’m building my whole business around the fact!  I’m convinced that having the right mindset can improve the chances of getting pregnant for many women, especially when the infertility is unexplained.

It’s much more of a holistic approach to link mind and body so closely, but it’s a concept that’s gradually gaining more credence in conventional medicine.  How (and what) you think can have strong physical effects and vice versa, just consider how stress and depression can be both physical and mental manifestations of dis-ease.

Since I’m on the subject of what other people say, can I give you another quote, from one of my favourite authors, Deepak Chopra who began his career as an endocrinologist before shifting focus and becoming a writer and speaker in the self-help, spirituality and alternative medicine fields.I'm Possible

In his book ‘Quantum Healing’, Deepak says, “Favouring mind over matter is not a mystical notion.  If you want to build a skyscraper today, you don’t start piling up concrete and steel; you go to an architect, whose intelligence prepares the plan that must exist before construction begins.”

The architect has to take the thought of the skyscraper and give it form, a shape, an identity.  And he also has to overcome the many obstacles which arise in the manifestation of the form of the skyscraper.  But most of all, the architect has to believe absolutely that this skyscraper will be manifest, otherwise there may not be enough energy to complete the project.

If you’re trying to get pregnant, let me ask you – what form have you created with your thoughts?  Do your thoughts represent what you WANT, or what you DON’T WANT?  It really is vital to focus on what you want.

And I know that’s not always easy, so hopefully this further quote from Deepak Chopra will inspire you …

“You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.”

I’ve got that quote stuck on my computer screen!  Perhaps you’d also like to keep it in the forefront of your mind.

If you’d like help to stay positive on your baby making journey you can join the FREE Baby Making Mindset Group on facebook, just click this link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/freeBMMclub/.

Trying To Conceive? Be Kind To Yourself

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Be Kind To Yourself

There’s no doubt about it, unexplained infertility or infertility is tough to cope with.  So isn’t it hard enough trying to get pregnant without giving yourself a hard time about it too?  The bigger the challenge you face, the more important it is to be kind to yourself. Because if you’re not kind to yourself, you’re bound to increase the suffering you experience.  All the highs and lows that go with trying to get pregnant are hard enough without making it even more difficult.

The psychology of conception requires that you be kind to yourself, but what exactly does that mean?

Imagine climbing a huge mountain.  You begin your climb with an empty rucksack on your back.  As you climb the hill you collect a stone and put it into the rucksack every time you have a negative thought about your journey.  As the hill gets steeper, more and more stones go into the rucksack, making it ever more difficult to continue on your journey as the load you carry gets heavier and heavier.  And all you need do, to lighten your load is dump the stones and refuse to collect any more.

Imagine your were supporting a friend who was trying to get pregnant.  Would you berate them because they’ve let themselves and their partner down?  Would you tell them that they’re not trying hard enough and there must be something else they can do?  Would you tell them they’re a failure?  Of course not.

You would suggest to them that they might want to be a bit more patient and give themselves a bit more time before they became anxious and upset.  You would encourage them to take a day at a time and not try to second guess what’s going to happen in the future, especially when they believe themselves to be facing a negative future.  You might hint that if they were to adjust their expectations to something that’s a bit more pragmatic and realistic, it would make life a bit easier.

You might even gently explore what the future holds for them if they don’t get pregnant.

You might perhaps suggest that they do something to reduce their stress levels: a treatment of massage or reflexology; some time at a spa; join a yoga class or take up meditation.

And you would definitely give them a hug when they needed it.

Can you be your own best friend?  Can you be kind to yourself?  How many stones are in your rucksack and how willing are you to dump them and not collect any more?

If you want help on your baby making journey why not join the FREE Baby Making Mindset Club for support and practical tools and techniques that you can apply to make life easier and improve your chances of getting pregnant, just follow this link https://www.facebook.com/groups/freeBMMclub/.