There’s no doubt about it, unexplained infertility or infertility is tough to cope with.  So isn’t it hard enough trying to get pregnant without giving yourself a hard time about it too?  The bigger the challenge you face, the more important it is to be kind to yourself. Because if you’re not kind to yourself, you’re bound to increase the suffering you experience.  All the highs and lows that go with trying to get pregnant are hard enough without making it even more difficult.

The psychology of conception requires that you be kind to yourself, but what exactly does that mean?

Imagine climbing a huge mountain.  You begin your climb with an empty rucksack on your back.  As you climb the hill you collect a stone and put it into the rucksack every time you have a negative thought about your journey.  As the hill gets steeper, more and more stones go into the rucksack, making it ever more difficult to continue on your journey as the load you carry gets heavier and heavier.  And all you need do, to lighten your load is dump the stones and refuse to collect any more.

Imagine your were supporting a friend who was trying to get pregnant.  Would you berate them because they’ve let themselves and their partner down?  Would you tell them that they’re not trying hard enough and there must be something else they can do?  Would you tell them they’re a failure?  Of course not.

You would suggest to them that they might want to be a bit more patient and give themselves a bit more time before they became anxious and upset.  You would encourage them to take a day at a time and not try to second guess what’s going to happen in the future, especially when they believe themselves to be facing a negative future.  You might hint that if they were to adjust their expectations to something that’s a bit more pragmatic and realistic, it would make life a bit easier.

You might even gently explore what the future holds for them if they don’t get pregnant.

You might perhaps suggest that they do something to reduce their stress levels: a treatment of massage or reflexology; some time at a spa; join a yoga class or take up meditation.

And you would definitely give them a hug when they needed it.

Can you be your own best friend?  Can you be kind to yourself?  How many stones are in your rucksack and how willing are you to dump them and not collect any more?

If you want help on your baby making journey why not join the FREE Baby Making Mindset Club for support and practical tools and techniques that you can apply to make life easier and improve your chances of getting pregnant, just follow this link https://www.facebook.com/groups/freeBMMclub/.